It Was More Than Just A Hike

    As many of you may know or have seen due to my photos on the socials, last weekend I hiked the volcano here in Guatemala called Acatenango. I will say it was the hardest physical challenge I have ever faced. It was straight up hill for six and a half hours to get to the point of our campsite for the night. We got to our campsite and it was the most beautiful view of two other volcanoes, Agua and Fuego. We watched as fuego erupted time and time again and through the night you could hear it booming. I have never felt so alive while also feeling completely at the end of myself at the same time. 

    What I believed to be the biggest challenge was over. The next morning we woke up at four to begin summiting the volcano. Now the easy part came. All I had to do was summit and i was there at the very top! No bag, no problem it was going to be easy! So i thought. It took me two and a half hours to get to the very top. I had many moments on the verge of tears, many moments that i thought I made it to the top, many moments of defeat and contemplation of quitting, moments I rejoiced with the Lord that I could even do something like this, moments of astonishment of His creation and how He allows us to enjoy it and be apart of it. A thousand different moments and emotions in the matter of two and a half hours. When I finally got to the top, I wept. I finally completed the trek. I did a hard thing. I did not do it alone though. Yes I was very far behind my squad, yes they all made it up and came down before I made it to the top. I celebrated on that volcano with the Lord. I had a heart of gratitude on the top that He would give me His strength to make it to the top. It was beautiful. It was a view I did not think I would see. 

    Minutes before I got to the top I had a moment of defeat. I was on the ground on a slope and my shoes were sliding. I could not climb up even if I wanted to. For a few minutes I sat there with tears welling up in my eyes. I said to God, “I did not come this far to not make it all the way up” but I physically cannot do it. I did not even want to complete it at this moment. I felt I just needed to give up and turn around. I started to justify and say well I almost made it and that is good enough. And then I felt a nudge from the Lord to try one more time and at that moment, my shoes gripped and I had it. I made it past the part I saw to be quite impossible. God made a way where I saw no way. It seems silly and small but on the side of that volcano, where I sat terrified and in panic about my balance, it was huge. It was a moment He had me, when I felt incapable. As I reminisce on this experience, the Lord has kindly spoke so much into it. God graciously gave me a physical experience of what my journey with Him is at this current moment. 

    This volcano is my journey with the Lord. It is me and Him. I have learned more in the past three months of what it means to live this life solely for Him and with Him. When I think I am alone, He is near. He is always with me, in my lowest lows and my highest highs. He reminded me that when I am climbing this volcano of my life, I cannot do it in my own strength. I need his strength to get me through it all. He showed me that I am coming to the end of myself. Each point that I thought i was done and I was not, I lost a little more of me and gained a little more of Him. This hike was a representation of me coming to the end of myself and seeking the Lord to fill up where I lack. Each moment I want to turn around, He gently reminds me that His way is far greater and far more rewarding and each time I chose to trek on with no understanding or desire, He proves to be true. 

    I am reminded of a sweet book I read last summer called Hind’s Feet in High Places. The main character Much-Afraid was on a journey to the high places. She met the Shepherd and he promised to take her to the high places. He never promised that it would be easy, but he promised her it would be worth it. Much-Afraid went through this journey and she got to many points where she said “surely we are almost there” or “surely it is just beyond this point”(both being things I also said on my journey). Each time, the Shepherd would take her the opposite direction, a way that made absolutely no sense. Each time She kept asking the Shepherd why. Each time she continued to trust him, He taught her something about Himself. Each time she built an alter and worshipped Him and gave thanks to Him for what He taught her. Each lesson she received a pebble of remembrance. When Much-Afraid was almost at a breaking point, ready to give it all up and be done, she remembered  each stone and what it represented. She looked at His promises and decided He was worth it. She hit a point of no return and she came to the end of herself. She got to the High Places and was full of His truth and His love and His promises. Nothing could hold her back any longer. Much-Afraid gave everything to receive the greatest gift she could ever receive, eternal life with the Shepherd.   

    Three and a half months ago I finished this book and wrote in my journal each promise of God that Much-Afraid learned about in this book. Each pebble she collected and it says “10 promises of God. 10 reasons to press on and keep fighting the good fight of faith. 10, but not even all God promises. He is worth it. He is worth everything. Though everything in the world should tell me they are worthless— yet I cannot part with them.” Each step I took up I wanted to turn around but God kept reminding me to trust him. That is the same with my life. Every time I want to give up, turn around and forget it all, He brings me the greatest comfort. His promises and His love are worth everything. Even when my circumstances say otherwise. He is worth the greatest climb, He is worth every “almost there”, He is worth every unknown, He is worth it every time it does not make sense, He is worth my life. I would climb the volcano all over again if it meant that the Father got the glory. As Paul says in Philippians 3:8 “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” 

    There are many things the Lord taught me through this hike. I could quite literally write a book about it. For now, I will leave you here. I pray the Holy Spirit uses this blog to move you into deeper love for our Father in heaven. I pray you read this and know how wide and how deep the Fathers love is. I pray for peace and understanding of who He is. 

With Deep Love,

Hannah