Faith is Assurance of Things Hoped For

   I started off my day at ministry Friday dancing with over one hundred thirty little children up to the age of seven! This brought me back to vacation Bible school and I was in a space of gratitude as I jumped up and down and sang praises to the Lord with these children. The Lord has been teaching me a lot about what freedom looks like and what he has been telling me was what was happening in that space. He keeps reminding me of how little children carry such a freedom. They know so little yet they live in so much color and I just love when the Lord physically shows me those kinds of things. 
 
   After we dance, we all break off into classrooms with our kids and I am with a class that is six years of age. This was my second day going in to this class and the Lord had been giving me such a huge heart for this class but specifically a little girl named Mami. To have a bit of back story, my first day I went to class I looked at Mami and I knew she was my one. I knew the Lord was going to specifically put a child in my eyesight that he wanted me to love extra because he always does. Man he always gives me the one and every time he breaks my heart with compassion and love for this child. I knew it the second I saw Mami that my heart was going to break into a million little pieces. 

   Mami is a quiet little girl at the age of six. Every other child in the room comes to me being goofy and talking to me but not Mami. She was quieter then a mouse. She was spaced out I could tell she was not all there but I was not exactly sure why. The first day we colored and scribbled all over the pages and I gave her a lot of extra attention. Her teacher said I needed to sit with her so I did. I was so curious asking Lord what is going on in that little head of hers and I just sat with her patiently, praying over her, trying to be silly with her and break through some kind of wall I see is up in her little heart. I sit wondering why there is a wall up in the heart of a girl who is just six years old? I left that day with Mami and thirty thousand questions on my mind. 

   Back to Friday, I sit down with Mami and it is coloring time but she does not get a coloring book. She just gets her folder and nothing else. The blank stares begin. So of course I start talking to her, well really making noises at her trying to get her to look or smile or do something. The teacher gave me some laminated masks to cut out and I sat with Mami and cut them out and showed her the masks and she would hold them up to her eyes and finally I felt like the wall broke down. I got her to engage with me for more then a few seconds. She begin tapping me and showing me silly things like the drawings of eyes she did put on her forehead. We went to recess and she hugged on me and we barked like dogs and she began to continue to open up. We got back from recess and I began to ask the teacher why Mami is so quiet and she told me she needs to go to a special school but she can not get in and we do not know if she will ever get in. My first feeling is defeat. “How can i make sure she gets there?” I asked the Lord. No response. I sat there praying and felt so hopeless. She is so deserving of this school and I cannot even do anything to make sure she gets that education and I will never even know if it happens and the the Lord reminded me of Hebrews 11. “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for.” Okay I can trust the Lord will get her what she needs. I left the school day with a big hug from Mami and she told me she loved me. It was so sweet and I really do not know if I will ever see that sweet little girl again. 

   I got home and eventually sat down to spend time with the Lord and just process this time with Mami and the way my heart is feeling. I sat there talking to the Lord and I just said Lord how can I do it all? How can I one day give to children like Mami? Why is my heart so big? How do I even trust you right now God that things will happen for Mami and she will get what she needs? I sat there becoming overwhelmed with how big these things seem and how heavy they feel on my shoulders. The Lord just reminded to have hope. There is hope in Jesus. I have to believe he is going to do what he says he will do and that through this life, Mami will be protected by his hand. With that being said, I am praying that hope fills my heart and the hearts of my squad and the hearts of all of you. When things seem hopeless, remember there is so much home in our Savior. 

   Today at church, a woman got up and said “even if we go to the nations to love the one, we know it was worth it. Jesus will always leave those behind for the one just as in the parable of the lost sheep the shepherd leaves the ninety nine for the one.” Mami matters to God. Each person matters to God. YOU matter to God. Even if I came all the way to South Africa just to meet Mami, I know it was worth it because Jesus is worth it. I hope this stirs your heart and I hope you remember to trust in HIS good plans. He promises in Isaiah 61 this “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;” Jesus repeats this in Luke 4. Jesus fulfills this that he will bring good news, bind up the broken hearted, set the captives free and remove bondage from the prisoners. 

   Thank you again for following my journey and supporting me. I love you all and I love all that the Lord does to stir up my faith and yours. 

 

With love, 

Hannah