Growing pains

Hello everyone! 

     I know it has been some time since I have posted! This update is a lot of realization and growth that I am experiencing! I wanted to just pop on and let you know how the first few weeks have gone without racers here and also with racers here! I have gone through a lot of wrestling with God about what is true and I know He is the one that is true! Here is a bit of my heart and how I’ve been growing and learning!

     I have officially been in Georgia for 30 days. I must say the first two weeks were very refining. I got here on August 31st actually afraid and unsure if God made the right choice in choosing me. I doubted God would call me, a broken, confused, struggling 23 year old to lead 45 of his children. I was afraid that I was incapable of carrying all that he was giving me. It kind of reminds me of when God called Moses and told him he would bring the Israelites out of Egypt. Moses feels like he is not equipped, he feels as though the Israelites will not listen to him. God says to Moses in Exodus 4:11-12 “Who has made mans mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” This is what I felt like the Lord spoke to me as well as Numbers 23:19 which says “God is not a man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said and will he not do it? Or has he spoke, and will he not fulfill it?” With these two scriptures, he reminded me that he would never bring me where I am if he was not going to use me. He would never lie to me and he would never call me if he wasn’t qualifying me in the process. The Lord keeps reminding me that he doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called. 

     Leading up to these racers of H Squad arriving on base, I went from unsure and doubting to confident and ready. God has prepared a way for me. He has equipped me exactly as I am. I do not need to be someone else because I uniquely bring something to the table. It’s funny I say that because i received a prophetic key and it says “Ready” on it. I ordered a key for the journey from an organization and they pray and ask the Lord for a word and they then stamp it on your key and send it to you. I am learning a lot about what God is saying I am ready for. I am ready to lead these people toward Christ and I am ready to walk humbly alongside them with Christ at my center and knowing he is doing all the work through me. I am ready to walk with boldness and the authority that Jesus has given me. I am ready to not be so imprisoned to the world. 

     I realized on August 19th how imprisoned I am to man. Acts 5:29 says “We must obey God rather than men” and Galatians 1:10 says “For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If we are still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” I have not been living to my full potential in Christ because I live so much to please others. I do not want to live life this way I want to live confidently sharing the Gospel and my heart with others. I want to walk in a way pleasing to the Lord and that might not always please others. I want to walk in obedience to him not to the world. There is no way to walk according to Christ and according to man. There is no way to possibly make everyone pleased with how I lead or decisions I make or make everyone happy. I cannot carry that burden on my shoulders because if I continue that way, I will crash and burn. 

     This is why I remain in the Lord. In John 15:5 Jesus says “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” All of these things I have said would not be possible if I do not remain in Him. If I do not find my test in his face. I think lately I have been looking so much at his hand and what he can do for me rather than seeking his face and what he’s already done for me on the cross. Matthew 11:28-30 says “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” The Lord takes every single thing from me when I give it to him. He brings peace in chaos, love when I feel unloved, assurance when I feel like I failed. He is the only one I can and want to put my trust in. 

     These are things I’m learning, praying about and still fighting for!! The Lord is teaching me SO MUCH through leadership and it’s hard and humbling and so incredible all at the same time. I believe he does indeed have me here for a purpose and a plan. I believe my goal here is not to learn how to be the perfect squad leader but to fall into God during the process and remember that I am his vessel and there is no expectation for me to perform. 

     Thank you all for following along in my journey. Thank you for praying, donating and loving me well. You are investing in the kingdom through your support which is incredible. 

     I am officially fully funded but if you are interested in giving to me for monthly support you can give through my venmo @hannahkraus12! If you are interested in supporting someone from my team you can check out their donation pages! I will include their links below!

claytoncamp.theworldrace.org

morganapplegate.theworldrace.org

adelyndozier.theworldrace.org